Maybe you want to show a guy that you like him, or maybe your lifelong partner enjoys having you tease her into ecstasy. Using your mouth to say what's on your mind can add a special spin to an evening in PJ's or a night on the town. Let's start with the basics. Men really tend to be the more visual and women the more auditory and kinesthetic. I did my Ph.D. dissertation on pornography films (yes, they used to be made as films then as videos and now on disks) and found the research to back up this assumption. Of course, like all generalizations not ALL men are motivated sexually by what they see, just like not ALL women are cajoled into the bedroom by sexy words or a quick pat on the cheek (either kind).

Jill couldn’t sleep. She desperately wanted to be sleeping before Steve, her husband of 18 years, came to bed.  She felt she couldn’t bear it if he lay close to her, stroking her in the hopes she would be willing to make love.  She was so tired of avoiding him in the evenings.  So tired of feeling trapped in a sexless, distant marriage.  She knew she needed Steve, she believed that she loved him, but she no longer wanted to make love to him.  She willed herself not to cry, because if she started, she wasn’t sure she’d ever stop.